Letting go…

What I dreaded the most has now happened more times than I care to count. Caught up in my life, in the myriad distractions I adopted to forget you, I have crossed paths with you in the halls of our university. We are always going in opposite directions and we always meet under the clock tower. I purposely choose to go around the school seal, with chains encircling it to prevent anyone walking over the gold emblem, oppoiste from the side you choose. I do not want to meet your eyes. I refuse to acknowledge you. The first time this … Continue reading Letting go…

Why People Are Afraid of Trump and Republicans

I love history, so one thing I know is that humanity has an astounding capacity for memory loss and selective recognition of truths. After the Holocaust we swore “never again”, but turned a blind eye to the Soviet Union’s gulags. So, since I am aware that we all slept through history class in high school and few voluntarily took history courses in college, here’s a refresher: 2001 – the last time Republicans controlled both chambers of Congress and the White House. Does anyone remember George W. Bush? Stand-up guy when he wasn’t waging a war to seize control of oil … Continue reading Why People Are Afraid of Trump and Republicans

How my anxious brain works

How my anxious brain works: while getting dressed and listening to the news, I am writing an essay in my head. As I sit on the train I write the essay while making a list of emails I need to send once I’m in the office. The moment I get to the office I realize that I left the sweater that perfectly matched my outfit at home, so I proceed to have an internal freak out about the image of my sweater lying on top of my desk, where my cat will probably sleep and fill it with hair, so … Continue reading How my anxious brain works

Dear O…

I like knowing what a person is thinking, feeling, doing even before they think, feel, do I hate surprises and no, there isn’t anyone I trust until you everything was scary life was too unpredictable and people far too fickle but you, you I could read like one of my novels the kind where I know the end after reading a page or two I still have no idea who I am but you I know every thought, desire, act was written in your eyes so I knew when you left before you were gone… Continue reading Dear O…

Can I just stay home?

WARNING: This is going to be a very whiny post about a very basic bitch problem that probably has zero relevance to anyone…so feel free to not read this. And apologies if you do and end up hating me. Ever since my relationship met a grisly and increasingly unpleasant end, I have been keeping busy with the usual: nights out on the town getting drunk with the girls, horror movie marathons to remind myself that worse things can happen (though demonic possession doesn’t seem half as bad as getting dumped after four years because he was “never into it” but … Continue reading Can I just stay home?

How Getting Dumped During Finals Made Me Stronger

After four years together, I honestly stopped thinking of a life without him; it just wasn’t possible. Sure, we often argued and he always made it clear that he’d rather be single than deal with my “issues”, but it was in the heat of the moment and so I deluded myself into believing we’d “make it”; we had already made it far longer than anyone we knew. I have always been one to go against the current: all our friends are happily throwing themselves into drinking all night and hooking up, I’ll stay home and he’ll cook dinner. While everyone … Continue reading How Getting Dumped During Finals Made Me Stronger

Hopeless Hopeful

Ok, so let’s blog! I know I’ve waited quite a while to get down to letting yoh know what this blog is all about, but it’s because I really don’t know. It has to do with the fact that at 26 I’m still learning who I am and what I want. My four-year relationship has ended (against my will) and during the relationship who I was and what I wanted was largely defined by my significant other. This has a lot to do with how I am in all my relationships with others; I put their needs and wants before … Continue reading Hopeless Hopeful