How my anxious brain works

How my anxious brain works: while getting dressed and listening to the news, I am writing an essay in my head. As I sit on the train I write the essay while making a list of emails I need to send once I’m in the office. The moment I get to the office I realize that I left the sweater that perfectly matched my outfit at home, so I proceed to have an internal freak out about the image of my sweater lying on top of my desk, where my cat will probably sleep and fill it with hair, so I have to wash it when I get home but since I have to conserve energy I’ll have to hand wash it and hang it to dry. I criticize myself for washing the dishes and wiping the kitchen counter that morning, when I was already running late, because the sight of the dirty kitchen had me nervously pulling my hair. All this is going on as I power up my computer, take note that I also forgot my charger, proceed to imagine my cat chewing on said charger, and decide to just give up on the day and log into Facebook. I then berate myself for not sending the emails, proceed to flip through my five desktops to open up mail, compose emails, double-check for fact, pause to write the essay I have been thinking of since this morning. My breakfast is cold by now, so i pause to eat. Then I remember I’m supposed to be working.


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