I do not at all get how the phrase “there are other fish in the sea” or “there are a million fish in the sea” is supposed to comforting after being dumped. Yes, we all know that other human beings exist. Just because we were in a relationship for a prolonged period of time and only rarely socialized with someone other than our S.O. does not mean we forgot that we are not alone in the world. At least for one person in the relationship the awareness of other people was strong enough to drive them OUT of the arms of their S.O. and into the ocean. So, yea we are aware. Nevertheless, when you feel like you found your fish (the perfect tuna, so to speak), it is terror-inducing to have it leap out of our arms after years of searching for that one fish and into the ocean again. Then pushing us after it into said ocean with the hopeful phrase that we’ll find another fish, one other fish as perfect as the one that just escaped, is, at the very least, traumatic because what we do not want is to be in the ocean. No, we want to be on dry land with your fish turned man (or woman). The ocean is a dark and cold place full of other fish and pretty much all of them are detestable. The idea of having to wade through millions of other fish to maybe just maybe find one that measures up to one of your standards is the literally the last thing anyone wants to do. I know, I have single friends and they hate every second of their life as single men or women. I have never ever heard a person who is single say they enjoy it more than being in a relationship. Sure, you can enjoy being single and a lot of people do. Nothing wrong with being single at all. Actually, it can be quite beneficial, until the psychological impact of living alone with little to no physical contact with another other than a sexual one (as in no loving cuddles and caresses) starts hitting you and you fall into an existential crisis…but let’s leave that to the psychologists, since they also need to keep a job. The real question is: is it better than being in a relationship? Yes, it’s better than being in a bad relationship, but is it better than being in a relationship? Why does everyone cling to their relationship no matter how good or bad? Is it that we instinctually recoil at the thought of being alone for most meals? Of hooking up with stranger after stranger and allowing them use your body as you use theirs for nothing more elevating than a biological impulse? Psychologists say yes: we are programmed to always want to be with others and it is far more natural than our selfishness. But that doesn’t really explain why there is no worse thing to say to a person who got dumped than “there are other fish”. I think the reason it’s one of worst things to say is because everyone hates fishing, especially when you have to throw the fish back in.


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